(Source: thingsdavidlikes, via countryboy-americansoldier)
How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears
The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids
and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortniteA kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.
The hero we deserve
When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too
i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”
I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.
The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.
god I love tiny kids
there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.
I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”
This summer, I was teaching at an acting camp and we did questions of the day at the top of classes and one girl about 9yo when she was asked said “I feel like 15 margaritas…for no particular reason”
(via asslamp24)
Concept: you’ve been married to your wife for 3 years. You wake up in your bed before she does, your nose cold but your body warm. Careful not to wake her, you get out of bed and your toes curl when your feet hit the cold floor. You brew a pot of coffee and take a cup, making sure to leave enough for her. You pull on a big sweater and walk out onto your deck, sitting in a big wood chair to look out over the forest. The leaves are orange and edged with frost. All is quiet as the sun rises over the trees. You hear the door opening behind you and your wife sits down next to you, wrapping the comforter from your bed around both of you shoulders. You sit there like that until the sun is well up and your coffee cups are empty.
(via gonelikeyesterday)
(Source: fourseasonsss, via gonelikeyesterday)
There are three rules.
1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it.
2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no.
3. If you do not step forward, you will remain in the same place.
(via gonelikeyesterday)
(Source: hecallsmelovely, via youarewortheverything)
“I’d much rather have one great person to talk to every night than have several pointless conversations with temporary people.”— Unknown
(via andlifemovesonn)
(Source: ideologizar, via catalogar)
i’m so confused
why
why do you do this to me
playing with my mind
and my emotions
throwing them around
like a rag doll
you play a dangerous game
with my heart
and i can only hope
that you won’t break it
- j.
(via copenhagenangell)
(Source: weheartit.com, via copenhagenangell)
(Source: aphador, via seanp0donnell)
9km:
got milk bitch? 🥛🍼😶 got beef? 😠👊🥩got steak ho? got cheese?👀🧀 grade 🅰️ ho, not lean 😳❌ got me a1, sauce please 😫 these heifers got nothin’ on me 💁♀️ steaks high, 🥩⬆️need a side of collard greens 🥗
ca💲h 💰🤑💸 rules everything 🌎🔁 around me 😋 ice cream🍦😛 ice cream 🍨😝 you a calf bitch 🐄, you ma daughter 🤱i ain’t bothered 🤷♀️ get slaughtered 🔪 got the methane, i’m a farter🍑💨 with my farmer 👨🌾 mcdonald 🍟 and they feed me real good, it’s a honor 😔 philly cheesesteak all in that order, chili cheese fries as a starter🌶🍟 got the steroids 💉 keeping me stronger 😉💪 bitch im a cow, bitch im a cow, i am not ⛔️ a cat 🐱, i dont 🙅♀️🚫😤 say meow 🔇🤬😾 bitch im a cow, bitch im a cow 🐄❤️🐮
(via ilungaoshun)